I don't think I'll be buying a new graphics tablet. That thing was probably the only reason why I convinced myself that I could draw. Maybe it stopping working is a hayır, and now I can for real give up on art. I still can't help myself and doodle, sketch; because that's all I know what to do, just like old men going out on walks with a full suit on a weekday noon. I have never learned otherwise...

Besides, I still have my colored pencils, pens, inkpens and all my traditional art tools I have ignored mostly. I can use them now if I really need to draw. And who knows? Maybe I can actually manage it. With the way AI is ruining what we love(d), traditional feels like a safe haven.

 Midterms start this Monday! I feel weirdly at ease this time around, I don't know if this will bring me misfortune LOL but idk?? I feel like this semester, most of my classes were easier, and I am taking two classes from 3rd year! Praying for my success...🤲

Other than that, I've finished reading Jane Eyre a few days ago, but I am SOOOO obsessed with it still. IT WAS SO GOOD and I'm glad that I haven't read it as a child, because I don't think I would have appreciated it enough, nor would I have gotten the references, the implicit messages, THE ROMANCE. And children's editions usually are abridged, you know! ANYWAY I love Jane's character so so much, I related to her so often -- being ugly, being an artist, thinking you're unfit for being loved, stuff like that -- but also really envied how strong she is, how resilient she always were; which is why Mr. Rochester fell in love with her 😭😭 AHH THEY ARE JUST PERFECT TOGETHER, OKAY?!?!

And some bad news: My graphics tablet that I bought a few years ago gave up on me... It technically works, but for like 30 secs max, before it disconnects itself. After a series of experiments, I decided the cause is the USB-C port on the tablet itself. So I can't fix it... The warranty is also passed, and I can't find from which website I had bought it either. :/
Thing is, I had bought an Android tablet about a month ago, and I can draw on it BUT AGAIN, TECHNICALLY, because drawing on these things are more difficult than I remember??

I DID start out digital art using an iPad, then did most of it on another Android tablet,, but it seems it has been too long and my skills have receded. I already feel too conscious of my art skills, and this just made it worse... SO I can't draw anything.... I doodle a bit on my notebooks in class to NOT COMPLETELY FORGET IT, but yeah, it's what it is. I am once again forced to draw traditionally.

I usually never do "anniversary" artwork. Across the many fandoms I've been in, I probably have posted a birthday celebration artwork probably once, if any. Because I know I can't make it in time...

Since this semester has a really bad schedule, I barely could find time to do any of my hobbies. That's why I told myself, I'll do this animation idea whenever I have time, so it would take some time, but I could do it little by little!
Then. I realized..... the Ides of March approaching.

The animation I've drafted is about Brutus & Caesar..... so I said, "Hey, what if I actually post it on time for ONCE? That would be nice!" and got to focus on it. Now, I'm kind of a hard-working student and I study daily, writing down my notes, studying beforehand etc. all that jazz... and for this animation, I stopped doing them. IT'S BEEN A WEEK! AND I FEEL SO BAD IGNORING ALL MY "WORK" BECAUSE OF THIS ANIMATION GAHHHHH

It's almost over, and AGAIN I barely made it in time!😭

SO IF I EVER THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA TO MAKE SPECIFIC ART FOR A SPECIFIC DAY
I AIN'T DOING IT

I'm back with another banger. In these ones I'll just post 10 characters I've been lusting over. These ones may not be as articulate as the other posts for the Fannish 50, but I think it fits in within the subject at hand...

As always, not in order.

During the break, I decided to pick up the whole LOTR trilogy from the library. I'm nearly finished with The Fellowship of the Ring, but oh my gooood did I miss Aragorn. I want to rewatch the movie trilogy now.

He's the OG hot dirt man...... but with a heart so noble and kind, courageous, gentle --- HE'S JUST SO PERFECT?? 😭 He never backs down from challenges even if he's carrying the guilt of his ancestors, he overcomes it in such a well-written plot. And he looks so handsome doing all that......


I saw this appear on the screen as a teenager and I was basically drooling. Back then I didn't even like men with beards that much and Aragorn honestly might be the first reason to change that.

While I love his exchanges with the hobbits most, I can't past without mentioning one of my earliest ships, Aragorn and Eowyn. I was so surprised when I found out it wasn't really popular (now I'm used to that feeling xD) because THEY WERE JUST SOOO CUTEE AAAAHH (and Eowyn is probably my Top 3 from LOTR characters...) Even if he was displeased Aragorn never showed it to her, and even when rejecting her love I KNOW HE WAS BEING SO GENTLE AND RESPECTFUL ABOUT IT but if he looked at me like that I WOULD JUST COLLAPSE TBH??

LIKE. If he touched my chin my jaw like that. I would just explode I think. HE'S SO CRUEL HERE......😭😭

Now onto more important matters.

( Read more... )

Now that my finals are done and hopefully I'm done with this (incredibly tediously long) semester, I'll continue posting for Fannish 50.

I thought about what I should talk about today, and had some ideas, but in the end decided upon touching the subject of one of my favorite genres in media: Time travel romance.

Ever since I was a kid, I had such a big interest in history (I'm sure it's not apparent! xD) Even back then, though I enjoyed fantastic elements too, I always preferred when the media was set in a rather realistic setting -- as in, not "fantasy" -- and this is still compliant with my current preference. [Listen. I understand the appeal, but we already have so many of them, guys (especially medieval fantasy). Let us enjoy a good adventure that has its feet on the ground once in a while!]

So you might think; then why do you enjoy a trope that's literally supernatural in its core?

One of the biggest reasons why I love reading books or watching movies is like many others, to escape from the stress, responsibilities and worries of real life. So then, isn't time travel romance, when it puts the modern person into historical settings, exactly doing the same thing? Maybe that's why, even with such partiality to realism, I find myself running to time travel, a very fantastic element, in times especially when I feel very down; because at their foundation, romance stories are for the audience to put themselves in the shoes of the protagonist.

Another appeal: The shenanigans of how they try to adapt to their new situations (this is better to watch when the historical person is thrown to the modern world), to deal with vastly different views of the era, are always fun to explore. When the research is done well, the characterizations are well-written, you get basically two people on opposite sides of time finding love. Isn't that beautiful? They try to understand the others' upbringing, the way their world is shaped, just for trying to work it out with them. Sacrificing from those values, researching on how to be more on par with their preferences and their "normal"s... I don't know. It's just good.

Also, men back then were actually mostly capable of what they claimed to be; crafting, creating, cooking, building, fighting, strong, protective... Yeah, the traditional masculinity when it's done well is incredibly hot -- I'm not going to try to lie!

Even at the core of calling myself "a very surface level person", I LOVE romance stuff. So maybe, it's the fact that I'll never experience something like that (meeting a historical person) appeals to me also... xD

Anyway! So, I'll try to pick some of my favorite books, movies, series, games, anime... with time travel romance in random order.


It has been some time since I've seen this movie, but I remember Hugh Jackman was so dreamy in this movie. He's from an era that I'm not particularly interested in, ngl so the clothings are not so much to my liking (it's still better and miles ahead than the crap men wear nowadays, and the costumes were really well done!) but even then he looked so handsome during the entire movie.

Also, it's the other way around like I mentioned, the historical person travels to the modern era, so the way he tried to get used to such a changed world, was very fun to see. There's a scene where he catches a burglar that stole Kate's bag, and Leopold comes out with a freaking horse!! That's exactly what I meant when I say the idea of traditional masculinity working out when it's done well. The way he says "Your hand, woman!" and grabs her to put her behind on the horse, is sooo 😭🙈❤ He also prepares dinner for her and Hugh Jackman just looks so handsome when he's even cutting some vegetables -- I was drooling I'm sorry. 😭 There's even a princess carry which is one of my favorite things EVER. AAAH Just!!

I also felt both the romance and the ending was rushed, but it's a good watch. 

I signed up for the Fannish 50 by goals_on_dw community. I've always wanted to participate in these kind of "events" because I think I could do with sharing more about my interests--it's the reason I signed up for DW in the first place, but my shyness knows no bounds. Even in online spaces I feel like I'm an intruder. But no more! I'll use this journal as intended.

I think I'll mostly ramble about different fandoms, and share my fanfictions or recs along the way. Hoping it'll be a fruitful year! ^^

Any of you thrifters out there, help needed.

I have used about three PCs in my life and all of them were desktop PCs. I have managed to save up a little sum of money and I plan on buying a secondheld laptop for mainly office use.

I know almost nothing to the hardware side of laptops and what to ask for when buying used laptops. So I'd appreciate if anyone has any tips!

Also, a question: When I had a PC without an external graphics card, Steam wouldn't launch some of the games even though the specs I had back then exceeded the minimums of those games. Because when I tried to launch outside of Steam, they would work!! So I wanted to ask if that would be a problem if I get one with an integrated graphics card.

My relationship with Assassin's Creed is a little different.

When I was quite younger, and back when we shared just one computer as a family, my brother was the only one of my siblings that could afford to buy any videogames. One of those games were the Assassin's Creed games. I, on the other hand, remember seeing the series' ads a lot on the internet, and as someone with a life-long interest in history, I've thought it was the coolest thing ever. Not to mention, back then, open-world games were so interesting to me because it was something I've never played before, so obviously, watching him play the first game, jumping around and doing acrobatics, I always wanted to play it AT LEAST ONCE.

So so many years later, I had bought it on Steam, and before I could find time to try it out, this time it was my sister who played it -- telling me she loved it. I remember being preoccupied with some stuff then, and when it was over, I finally played it too.

And it was an absolute disappointment.

I remember thinking, "This is what I died to play?"

The "open-world" was not even that open, and the whole "complete side missions to unlock main story" was SO BAD because all the missions were the same! Not to mention the bonkers fight system...

So after that whole debacle, I gave up on the game for good -- much to my sister's dismay, because she LOVES the Ezio trilogy -- and I wanted to see İstanbul too, but I just can't get myself to play through that horrible game design ever again.

Now, flashback-back to 2024 and 2025 -- I and a moot talk about games involving Ancient Rome, moreso the Octavian era because it's my obsession after I got smitten with Augustus from Civ7. I told them about the game I was playing -- Shadow of Rome, I still haven't finished it -- and we complain about the lack of actual RPG games about Ancient Rome.

( Read more... )

Not a lot to say... Just need Antony/Octavian/Agrippa story somewhere. Please.

I've been writing this for nearly a month... I'm finally free of its mental shackles. It was really fun to imagine these two bending the knee against their sexual chemistry lmao.

Pressed Truths (6151 words) by Melchizedek
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Original Work
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Original Male Character/Original Male Character
Characters: Brother Adam - Character, Brother Tobias
Additional Tags: Medieval, Monastery, Christianity, Frotting, Masturbation, Monks, Enemies, (More like people who can't stand each other), Religious Guilt
Summary:

A total coincidence draws Brother Tobias to discover an illustration of devious nature made by Brother Adam. He knows he should confront him, or let the Abbot know of this, but he can't do either of those; for he is captivated by it. The illustration helps him delve deep onto his unexplored desires, but then, when he least expects it, Brother Adam finds him in his weak moment.