Friend crushes

Friday, 15 November 2024 11:55 pm
temris: (sernando)
[personal profile] temris
I've never really had a romantic crush, but lately I've been going through a serious friendship crush. Although I'm still not sure if it's really the case.

There's a girl (1) that I really want to get to know more, but I don't want to push myself on anybody. Now that I'm typing this here, I realized that there's not much that I know about her; so maybe it's only because of that? But she seems really kind and nice, and I've helped her during PC class and she was so nice AHH IDK! ๐Ÿ˜ญ

THE THING IS -- From the first week or the second, I wanted to get more familiar with another artist (2) in my class. I've beaten my anxiety and initiated the first conversation by asking about her art (that is really pretty). I thought we hit off quite well, but for the next days she didn't even say "hello" to me; in contrast to the other few I talk to.

And when things like this happen, I always blame myself. Is that me being demanding unfairly? But she always says that she's an introvert; but I feel like she just... doesn't know how to "care" about people. Or maybe, I'm just not a person she sees at that level yet? Things like these have occupied my mind for so long lately.

I guess it just shows one thing: It was only me who wanted that to become a friendship. Every little talk we've had (maybe full on four times ๐Ÿ˜‚) I was the one who initiated those. How embarrassing to be the one to try so hard...๐Ÿ˜”

Anyway -- because of this failed ignition of a friendship attempt, I'm more wary of initiating conversations with the people I find interesting in class; mainly the girl (1) I talked in the beginning. There's another guy "acquaintance" who's really nice too. I'd love to call him a friend, but I try not to get too pushy the same way. He's sort of shy and I am too, so we can't talk much HAHA! I don't know if that makes me seem like I don't care, but I just don't want to bother anybody... ๐Ÿ˜ญ I thought I annoyed him last week because we didn't speak a word between each other for a full on week, and it was like a weight was taken off my shoulders when he greeted me a few mornings ago LOL. I'm thinking too much.

How do you deal with these friendship crushes if you've had any? And how do you try again?

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You can call me Temris. I write from my bedroom.

I write here like it's my irl journal and my concern is just letting my thoughts loose.
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I have the tendency to talk about various subjects but since I can't manage more than one blog I end up letting it all get mixed together.

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